35 birthdays

Today's my birthday, number 35.

It's a struggle today to be mindful and fully present because for the past couple of days, the world has started to crumble around me. But I continue to grit my teeth, choke down the emotions, and dig in.

I could make a list of things I want to do... but I think that would be counter-productive. I think that would only end up as a list of "maybe next year" ambitions that do nothing but remind me that I'm not doing them.

Instead, I've made a list of things that I have done, which I won't list here. There's no need.

I've lived a life that's full.
I've traveled each and ev'ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets - I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course...
Each careful step along the byway -
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill, my share of losing.
And now as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think - I did all that!
And, may I say, not in a shy way.
No. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.

To think, "I did all that," and I didn't do anything in a shy manner. I needed a reminder of that today.

I wish there was a present that I could give to the world. I'm not talking about some lofty, grandiose legacy or anything like that. I'd just love to give a simple anonymous gift.

I'd love to give the world - each person in it - five minutes of emptiness. True, real, peaceful emptiness - without emotion, without baggage, without clutter. I think some people have never really experienced it, and if they did, a lot of things might change.